I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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