We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
