just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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