just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
