Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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