Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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