how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Congratulations! We have a period
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