not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
