Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
