I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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