I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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