Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I did not marry a roomba.
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