I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
