After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
