what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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