How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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