Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
