It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
