Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize