There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
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I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
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Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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