whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
