He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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