girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
