I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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