How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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