I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Drunk is a universal language darling
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
