whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
