we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
