We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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