he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
