Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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