hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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