oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i now understand why vodka
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
