just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize