Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
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He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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