thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We are all done wearing pants today
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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