We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
