She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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