remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
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They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
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she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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