Are we in a gay sports bar?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
