The best revenge is premature balding
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
