This show inspires me to have sex in space
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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