The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
