I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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