youre lurking in front of me
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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