Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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