thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
