I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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