Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She's the barista slut.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
my poor anus
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
