bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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