i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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