Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
