Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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