two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
