Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
