So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
