Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
