We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
