I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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