Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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