just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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