I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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