Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
