if you like me you must not know who I am
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
