Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
