Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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