i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
